Friday, May 21, 2010

The Comeback

Welp, this morning I woke up pretty eartly and decided I would finally do that morning jog/walk that I've been putting off for weeks. I wanted to do this a while ago but, well, lets say when it comes to excersise I'm a huge flop artist.
Now, after I've returned from my walk I feel great. I tried running but my ankles and chins are strong enough for that. I was only able to run for about two minutes and then I had to give up. But I'm well on my way.

By no means is it easy. I gotta fight with myself mentally just to get up and put on my walking shoes. Dont even get me started when it's time to strength train. I literally sit on my bed looking myself in the mirror trying to garner the courage to pick up those 8lbs weights. But after I fight my way through it, I always feel good about myself and feel like I've accomplished something.

Isn't that a catch 22? You never want to put in the work, but after you do you feel so much better. Nothing in life worth having is easy. It's definately not going to be easy loosing this 100lbs. It's definately not going to be easy getting where I want to be in life, but I'm ready and willing to do the work.

I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I envy the slim girl

Right now, i'm sitting on my bed typing into my blog. My two 8lb weights are not even two feet away from me. Before I started typing, I was about to begin my workout, but I became afraid.
I literally was scared. Weights in my hands as I was about to begin, I was overcome with nerves.
Weird huh? How else do i expect to make my goal which as this point I would have been about 20lbs lighter had I stuck to it and not fell off like I have. I could be 20lbs lighter by now.

I dont mean to over enphesise it or give it so much attention, but I reallyyyy wish I could get over it and just live life. There really isn't anything stopping me, I just have this weight issue to get over. Not to say that when I do loose this weight, I'll be free to live life abundantly, to the full, till it overflows; because it doesnt, I can be happy right now, not when I'm 150lbs.

Urrgh, why dont I believe myself? I can give myself the best pep talk, but at the end it's just that. Talk. Why can't I follow my own advise? I dont know what I'm scared of. I thought I was fearless. I'm really fighting myself from giving up and going to sleep.

Come on Lady. The time I spent to type this blog I could have been half way through my workout.

I'm going to work out...................
(Post ended @ 8:40pm)

K, so it's 11:16pm and I just finished my workout. I may have stopped by a website to chat abit before starting my workout lol, but the important thing is I finished.
*sigh* That wasn't so bad (yah right!)


Thursday, May 13, 2010

I Fell All the Way OFF!!!

Yea i've been avoiding my blog like the plague. I fell off my diet and everything else. I aint making excuses, but I've been busy with so many things these days. I'm staying at my cousin's while I'm undergoing training for my new job. I'm so excited about that. I finally have a job and though it is stressful, I'm grateful for the opportunity to put everything that I've learned in school to use.

Because I'm away from home, I've been eating like pig, whenever I want , whatever I want. And there aint no one to repremand me, or put me back on track. Well when I was at home, it was pretty much the same, but at least I had someone to remind me and my workout board.

I want to get back on track, but I really aint about to while I'm away. It's sorta been like my mini vacation. Two weeks of pigging out and lazying away while stressing over a new job. NOT A GOOD LOOK.

I'm gonna get back on track, but it's soooo hard. I wonder when I will finally get over this weight things and just do it already. I still have a goal to loose 100lbs by November 26 2011, and I AM GOING TO MEET IT.

I will do whatever I have to do to meet my goal. I'll resume my workout on Monday.