Pretty Up

Deep inside I guess we all have a desire to be the most popular, the most beautiful, the most succesful. To some that desire is all they think about, it's what drives them. To others, this desire is something they feel can never be attained, and is worthless to kill yourself over.
Me on the other hand, I used to have it, but now that I dont I dont know if I belong to group A or group B.

You see, I used to be that girl. I had that. Whatever "that" is, it was mine. Then one day it went away. I didnt care to be the best, I didnt care to be the prettiest, I didnt care if I had the most friends. I took everything I had for granted anyway. But now, they keep telling me I have to come back, they keep telling me I have to be who I used to be. Who? Society.

Cliche, yeah maybe. But its true. I see it at school, I see it at church, I see it at home. They keep reminding me of my legendry. They're words haunt me everytime I open the fridge. They're faces flood my memory evertime I stare at my own. Judging me and mocking me.

I guess I could take it all in, and be who they wanted. I guess I could lay myself down like that and put up the mask. I guess I could show them I still got it. But I would be lying to myself. I dont want to be who I used to be, no. I was living in a fake sence of security never really smiling for real, always living behind the next compliment. I dont want that. I'm not a toy.
Thought I want to be better, I am not doing it for the praise. I am not doing it to get notoriety. I dont care what they have to say, I am doing it for ME.

I'm doing it for ME.