Thursday, January 21, 2010

Can I Hide Behind You?

I really needed this today. Please pause the player at the top.

Monday, January 18, 2010


Haaa haa, if you've seen Katt Williams' stand up routines, you know what I'm talking about.

Today or shall I say the whole weekend, I've been glued to my lap top. I didnt go out, I didnt do nothing. Just computer time. (That seems to be my M.O. these days anyway sooo...) Carrying on, I've been checking a few blogs and websites, and I wanted to shout out a few.

I discovered Vegan for the People, its a great blog, has some great recipes and pics; for anyone who's interested in Vegan food, is currently or wants to try. I love to try new things and be creative with food. But I cant neccessarily say that I'ma go vegan tho. We'll see anyway...

A second blog that I absolute LOVEEEEEEEE is Naturally Fabulous by my new favourite blog inspiration Sunshine.
Her story is very inspirational and she definately is blessed with a beautiful family and great insight on life. I personally watched all her youtube videos, and just joined her Natural Sunshine community; you can check that out here
I'm definately a fan and will be checking out her blogs on the reg.

So yea... that's what I did today.
Ohh before I forget. I totally backslided on the lifestyle change. The WHOLE of last week I went back on my word and ate and ate and ate. Didnt exercise, didnt drink water, NOTHING.
But I've seen the error of my ways, and its really up to me to get to where I wanna be.
I'm not buying into any more lies that I feed myself. Its not okay to be mediocre and I REFUSE to be just that.

So with that said, I'm back and ready to rumble.

I Cant Believe They Freakin' Cancelled TRAUMA!!!!

Some people are just stupid. Just straight up messed up in the head. Like really??
Why on earth would you cancel such a good show? I mean this is a show that had it ALL: drama, suspense, action, romance, comedy.... WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR. And such a great cast, Dereck Luke, like come on!!

That show MADE my Monday evenings. But I guess if you're not stranded in some dumb ass jungle with 30 other dumb ass people, eating cockroaches and hog nuts for breakfast, that doesnt constitute a good enough show for people to be entertained. And I guess if you're not one of 20 other stupid, dim witted, attention starved 20 somethings who has no self respect left so your only attempt to find and keep a man is to go on a show where some guy whom no one has ever heard of is suppose to fall madly inlove with you before the end of the shows finale (provided that you were the lucky one that didnt get rejected on national tv by not getting some dumb ass rose), I guess that is what is considered entertaining.

Well f*** you NBC. You suck sooo much. Bring back Trauma you jerks.

Urrghh, now what am I gonna watch??

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Pretty Up

Deep inside I guess we all have a desire to be the most popular, the most beautiful, the most succesful. To some that desire is all they think about, it's what drives them. To others, this desire is something they feel can never be attained, and is worthless to kill yourself over.
Me on the other hand, I used to have it, but now that I dont I dont know if I belong to group A or group B.

You see, I used to be that girl. I had that. Whatever "that" is, it was mine. Then one day it went away. I didnt care to be the best, I didnt care to be the prettiest, I didnt care if I had the most friends. I took everything I had for granted anyway. But now, they keep telling me I have to come back, they keep telling me I have to be who I used to be. Who? Society.

Cliche, yeah maybe. But its true. I see it at school, I see it at church, I see it at home. They keep reminding me of my legendry. They're words haunt me everytime I open the fridge. They're faces flood my memory evertime I stare at my own. Judging me and mocking me.

I guess I could take it all in, and be who they wanted. I guess I could lay myself down like that and put up the mask. I guess I could show them I still got it. But I would be lying to myself. I dont want to be who I used to be, no. I was living in a fake sence of security never really smiling for real, always living behind the next compliment. I dont want that. I'm not a toy.
Thought I want to be better, I am not doing it for the praise. I am not doing it to get notoriety. I dont care what they have to say, I am doing it for ME.

I'm doing it for ME.


I dont care for many things. Certain things just dont interest me. I seem to be the type that takes pleasure and sollace in that which brought me peace in my yesterdays. Reliving the old days, the good times; trying to find peace and joy in the past.

I find the most peace when I am alone. When the noise is dead, when the lights are turned off, and when I am on my bed. Curled up like a ball underneath the covers, the tv on with the sound off. Listening to nothing except my thoughts. Stuff like this may drive some people crazy, but me, its makes me more aware.

I am still on this journey trying to find myself. I cant tell you who I am right now, because I dont know. I cant put it into words what makes me, but I am still trying to discover. I am who my Father says I am though. It might take me my whole life to find out for myself.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Cant sleep...

Urrgh, I cant sleep. So I'm up blogging about it. It's 4:34 am and I have school at 9am. (insert groan)

I`m reading my new favourite blog From my Kitchen love the pics and the foooodddd.

It`s great to come across blogs like these that inspire you to want to get eat and get healthy.
I`m thinking about eating oats with drizzled honey fro breakfast with a cup of green tea.

Look at me, I`m a health nut, lol. Who`da thunk it.
I hope this means I`ll be able to walk past the chinease restaurant and pizza joint now without breaking a sweat.

We`ll see how that goes...

I`m gonna do a body scrub today. I heard mixing lemon juice and white sugar as a scrub can really bring out a glow to your skin. That should be interesting.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I'm a thrifter

I went thrifting yesturday with my mom. There is this salvation army thrift store across the street from my school. I bought a few items. I wasnt really sure what to get, but after looking through the racks I came across some nice blazers even an Isacc Mizrahi one. It was beautiful but too big.

Anyway this is wwhat I got.

Tomorrow I will try and find some dresses.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Lifestyle Change- Mom and daughter style

This evening my mom called me (yelled me, rather) downstairs to watch The Dr. Oz show with her; the episode was on dieting. I wasnt really in the mood since I felt it was going to be another one of those episodes, but I actually kinda enjoyed it.

Anyway, so I'm officially on a lifestyle change. I figure if I dont call it the D-word, then I might actually be successful at it, this time. So i'm on a lifestyle change, and to make it even better i'm on it with my mom. We're officially the mother/daughter weight loss team, ala The Biggest Loser but less sad and pathetic and more tragically hillarious.

I'm starting tomorrow and my goal is to feel better about myself and to gain confidence; the weight will come off eventually.
So here goes... I've vowed to stay away from foods that make me happy (sugar, fried stuff) and eat more healthy. I'm also going to stop eating after 9 pm.

It's going to be hard, and I know I'm gonna mess up, but hey I'm just gathering testimony.

Monday, January 4, 2010

My first post

I've decided to start blogging. Hmmm, where do I go from here??
After discovering an entire world of bloggers and contents that I didnt know existed, I thought, hey I can do this. So here goes....

So what do I want to share? My life.

It's only day 4 of a brand new year and I'm optimistic and hopeful that by day 365 I'll have a great testimony.

So here's to 361 days of fun, laughter, love, joy and peace.

Follow me as I embark on 2010.